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                           Leslie Hale Roberts

 

 

My name is Leslie Hale Roberts. My nom de plume is Uncle Tad Baker, as I have always enjoyed wearing masks. I am responsible for the majority of the work of Universal Thought, The N.C.C.C. and the written, audio and visual work of the Institute of Absurdity.

 

Beyond the many Institute films and events, I have a range of books, audios and music which I have written and produced over the years. I call my written work ‘poetic observations’, for they are not strict poetry but reflections and thoughts set to verse, reflections of a highly personal nature, stripped of politeness and concern for offending; no, I write what I feel, what I see, and in the style of Classical Greek writers, I use an economy of words and care little for embellishment.

 

I call myself a ‘Poet’, again, not in the traditional sense of a dark disturbed figure cloaked in mystery and who utters symbolic and odd word plays; no, I am a poet because I stand before God and Man and pass my experiences between the two. Not puffed-up arrogance but honest arrogance: I know who I am and am not, I have fallen and failed and suffered and known one indignity after another, but I have never wavered in my faith in myself and God. I have never felt the need for a middleman to reach God for me either, and I don’t accept any religious definition of God or how I should tailor my relationship with the Creator. I do not believe in Original Sin or being forgiven in order to reach so-called Heaven, for Heaven is here and alive and the only forgiveness I need is from myself, in my efforts to learn to love myself.

 

My work has been said to be disturbing or vulgar or seemingly without elegance or deep meaning, but I reject those criticisms and couldn’t care less what others think about what I do. I love my work and have faith that I am being true to God always. That said, I know my work has value to others and I am taking this opportunity to present what I have done, unfiltered, bald and, once produced, unedited, as I don’t believe in re-shaping what you once did for the sake of what you feel now. No, I stand on the excellence of what I felt and did then, and I never look back and re-edit. Never.

 

Therefore, I would like to invite you to peruse the many projects I have proudly produced since the time I left Demetrius Toteras and struck out on my own. I trust you will find them unique and worth your time to review.

 

Thought Alchemy

The Music of Leslie Hale Roberts

The Poetic Observations: 4 volumes

A Screwball’s Guide to the Universe

How High Should I Jump

Milt and Mia Get Over Yourself manuals

Thought Alchemy for Men: Awakening from the blur of youth

 

“Life today is a grease pit...”

 

If you are ready for something that will directly accuse you of the behavior you have been indulging in and suffering under, and if you can handle stark, oft-times searingly critical statements aimed directly at your personal weaknesses, then Thought Alchemy is for you!

 

In a series of mono- and dialogues, Leslie Hale Roberts takes the listener through darkly powerful images and conditions that Modern Men are facing, complete with advice (difficult but not impossible) on how to emerge from the confusion of Modern Living and build your life on a new foundation. Humorous, scathing, offensive and stripped of politeness, these recordings paint a picture of who Modern Man is, what he lacks and the standard he should aspire to.

 

Oh, you may listen to these recordings and say, “This is bullshit, I am nothing like this!” but the truth of it is, Modern Man IS a fucking putz with little to no backbone, a Man who would shame his ancestors with his compromised, boot-licking subservience to Women. Not that Thought Alchemy alone will put you on the right track, but hearing the Standard of Manhood being articulated in direct and simple terms can only help, or it damn well should!

 

You may or may not find yourself in the character of the listener, getting pummeled time after time for his ineptness, but if you are honest with yourself, you will surely see the similarities, and it may do you some good to taste a little perspective, to see that others are flailing about with the same issues you may be experiencing. If not, if you are content in who you are and the accusations leveled at men in this recording do not apply to you, then congratulations, for YOU have achieved Thought Alchemy: command of everything in your life. If, however, some or all of these allegations strike you as truth, then take them seriously, and get to work on YOU!

 

Women, by the way, are NOT the problem, YOU are! Face who you are and are not, learn to embrace your failures, laugh a little, take it all less seriously, and become a fucking Man! Thought Alchemy shows you the road, now get out there and walk on it!

Chapter One

Chapter Four

Chapter Two

Chapter Five

Chapter Three

Chapter Six

Uncle Tad Baker and the Music of the N.C.C.C.

In the fall of 1991, Uncle Tad Baker and members of the N.C.C.C. entered Pyramind Studio off Market Street in San Francisco to record a series of original songs they’d been playing across Northern California for several years. The recordings focused on the guitar wizardry of Ken Kunst, the renowned Flamenco player and student of Demetrius Toteras. Kunst could play any style brilliantly, and when it came to electric guitar, few were his equal, as evidenced by these recordings.

 

Playing alongside Kunst were veteran bass player Lee Howard, the loose but enthusiastic Johnny Godot on acoustic guitar, songwriter extraordinaire and guitarist R. Roberti, Thomas Q. Bosque on percussion and vibes, and Uncle Tad Baker on guitars, percussion and vocals.

 

The songs collected here often resemble extended jams rather than short, compact songs, but that is the N.C.C.C. style. These recordings marked the last time the group would perform together, but show the remarkable chemistry and joy the N.C.C.C. expressed in their music.

Call from Heaven

Homeless

Waiting

The Poet

Rhythm runs my blood

Working Class Hero

Once,when I was King

My Books On Amazon

Black Sea Banshee Run

'V' GRAFEN, former professional off-road motorcyclist and current paraplegic, looks back on the most important part of his life, when he participated in a much-rumored, highly illegal off-road race around the Black Sea in the late 1980s. Though hesitant, he increasingly releases himself to his memories and relates the events of these, some of the most unique off-road races in history, including finding and then losing the love of his life while winning the third and final race.

$7.99
Black Sea Banshee Run
$14.99

The true opinions and outrageous exploits of Doc: The world's most famous talking cat!

Doctor, or 'Doc', is an adorable, precocious and highly politically-incorrect young Bengal cat with the ability to talk, reflect and act almost human. With his salty tongue, incendiary opinions and high ethics, from the moment he arrives in the Roberts' household in rural Butte County in Northeastern California, Doc becomes the center of the family. He quickly shows an interest in difficult, even dangerous adventures, from tackling Mount Everest without oxygen to trying out for and winning a job with the San Francisco Forty Niner football team, to even saving the family home from the infamous Humboldt Fire of '08 after everyone else had fled to safety.

$7.99
Doc
$12.99

Here and South of Here: Stories, Poetics and Observations

There are stories that authors labor over and edit until the life has been taken from them. This collection of observations, essays and stories is not one of them! Here and South of Here capture what Leslie feels is the essence of the human experience, the struggles, disappointments, betrayals, failures and occasional successes which all of us experience at one time or another. Both pieces are imaginary examinations of what he feels are some of the life-challenges people in the 1st and 3rd Worlds face. The situations and dialogue depicted in both books are not for the faint of heart and, in some cases, may be considered offensive, but Leslie does not concern himself with hurt feelings; rather, his concern is to honestly depict what his observations and intuitions tell him is the truth of the Human Condition.

$7.99
Here and South of Here
$14.99

The Poetic Confessions: 1st poetic observations and essays                                1982 to 1986 

The Poetic Confessions of Leslie Hale Roberts are a collection of poetic observations and essays from an angry, confused, inconsistent, guilt-ridden, day-dreaming, dope-smoking, impulsive, arrogant, boundary-pushing, ambitiously lazy, penniless, irresponsible, irrational, passionate, duplicitous, stubborn, contradictory, horny, trusting, religion-less, God-loving, naïve and ultimately decent White Guy from Northern California.

$7.99
The Poetic Confessions
$14.99

The Darkness Before: 2nd poetic observations and essays                                 1986 to 1988

The Darkness Before captures Leslie Hale Roberts in his most confused and angry phase in the years before he met is soul mate, Pia, lost in hopes and enthusiasms and struggling to find a path forward amidst growing despair. The observations and essays reflect Leslie’s belief in the goodness of life blended with his frustrations in finding material success. There writings are often stark, vulgar and, in places, beautifully uplifting.

$7.99
The Darkness Before
$14.99

Pia: 3rd poetic observations and essays July 1988 to 1991 

Pia is a collection of poetic observations and essays following the arrival of this Goddess, who swept in and changed everything! These are not, however, all syrupy lovey dovey odes to some perfect Woman; rather, they reflect a period of intense confusion and then the realization that THIS was the woman Leslie was waiting for: demanding, explosive, passionate to a fault and the most loving, kind and nurturing woman God ever created!

$7.99
Pia
$14.99

Towel in Fast Water: 4th poetic observations and essays
                             from 1992 on... 

Towel in Fast Water is the 4th and final collection of poetic observations and essays written from 1992 to the present. It is a shorter collection than previous editions but no less filled with stark, offensive and provocative writings on, as usual, a wide range of subjects, including, yes, several pieces focusing on the Goddess, Pia.

$5.99
Towel in fast water
$12.99

The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Cheating and Betrayal

There's a lot more going on with The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Cheating and Betrayal than just making fun of people's serious relationship issues!

Now, a lot of people think that, because I write satire, everything I do must be some kind of joke or shouldn't be taken seriously. Oh, I do poke fun at a lot of people, thoughts and institutions, but I take the idea of contributing something meaningful to society very seriously, and that's why my wife, Mia Matters, and I wrote our booklet, The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Cheating and Betrayal.

Once our podcast, Get Over Yourself! The MiltnMia Show! took off and the emails started coming in, asking for practical but simple advice people just weren't getting from therapy, Mia and I decided to fill the void and write some brief, honest relationship advice for people tired of going to counselors. Our handbook goes directly to the heart of today's complex relationship issues, from dealing with a cheating spouse to what to do when your partner catches you in a lie to a number of issues you normally need an expert to unravel. You might be surprised at what we actually say, but believe me, we are not playing around with people's emotions nor is this some joke.

Our goal is to simplify the Road to Understanding by giving you the power to face whatever life offers you. We firmly believe that it's our reactions to what takes place that is really at the core of our difficulties, and the many schools of psychology really do little more than confuse the client while draining their pocketbooks. Our booklet will help you deflate the intensity of your reactions while teaching you how to laugh at yourself and enjoy your life.

We also feel that issues between the sexes have become far more complicated than they need to be, and with common sense in such short supply, our little booklet will give you the insight you may need to understand the essence of your relationship problems while pointing you in the direction where you can find relief.

Ultimately the only person who knows you best and can solve your problems is you, so with a copy of The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Cheating and Betrayal in hand, you can overcome the destruction of trust caused by infidelity, or any number of similar and difficult relationship issues, and get on to the life you should be living today. Leslie Hale Roberts aka R. Milton Quibner

Cheating and Betrayal
$4.99

The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Creating Happiness in a                                                                    Relationship

How often have you heard, “It's impossible to be truly happy in a relationship, especially with the husband (or wife) that I have”? For Milt Quibner and Mia Matters, however, being happy in a relationship not only IS a possibility but, if you follow the advice in their latest how-to booklet, you'll not only enjoy increasing degrees of Happiness, but you'll prevent many of the problems most people eventually experience in their relationships while setting yours on the right course from the very beginning.

The Get Over Yourself! Handbook on Creating Happiness in a Relationship makes the bold claim that Happiness can and should be the standard you want to set, yet the authors are realistic in their assessment that., “No one can make you happy.” What follows is a carefully laid-out tour of all the elements a couple needs in order to establish and maintain a happy, healthy, loving relationship. Included in the booklet is their Compatibility Checklist of Must Have and Should Be Conditions every couple needs to have in place or be working towards.

The authors make no bones about how easy being in a relationship is, nor do they cloud the reader with long, complex psychological terms that require a dictionary to understand; rather, they repeatedly emphasize what they feel is the essence of every successful relationship, Togetherness, and show, in simple, direct and easy-to-read steps, exactly how to achieve it. Leslie Hale Roberts aka R. Milton Quibner

$4.99
Creating Happiness

A Screwball's Guide to the Universe!

This book is a labor of love, my ‘notebook’ made into book form of my many sessions with Demetrius Toteras. I have taken something that was never put in order and attempted to do just that: make it readable, enjoyable and interesting. The content of this book changed my life; what might it do for yours?

You're thrust into Life and forced to find your way; no reference points, no assistance, no manual on how to deal with Life and the many difficulties and changes you’ll encounter.

 

You have no clue what Reality is or isn’t; you can’t yet know what you value nor how you should deal with others. You’re not sure which system or form of knowledge you should trust, and you damn well have no idea how you got here or what anything even means. Nobody taught you anything other than the mind-numbing garbage they expect you to learn in school.

 

If you’re lucky, you run into a mentor or a teacher who can make things a little more clear; still, you are essentially alone in this world and, if you’re not careful, you may get caught up in one or more illusions which can sap your energy dry and leave you thoroughly confused and disoriented.

 

Whether you’re just starting out on the road to Adulthood or you’ve had far too many seasons under your belt, this guide from a devoted Screwball of the Classical Period might offer some assistance along your journey.

 

Or you might just say, “Who cares? It’s all bullshit anyway!”

 

Well, if you’re content with your life and the way you think, it just may be bullshit, but if not, if your life is just endless meaninglessness, step inside and take a look around, you might just find something interesting...

$7.99
Screwball's Guide
$14.99

Books available from other publishers

Voices of a City of Gold: Stories from Oroville, California is a collection of short stories set in rural Northern California.

The stories range from traditional narratives to crude, even offensive experimental slice-of-life vignettes. The stories are broken into four sections, framed by the ongoing adventures of Duane and Mike, two street urchins who can’t stay out of their own destructive paths. Within these frames are characters and events which depict life in 21st Century Oroville; the reader will encounter retirees and shut-ins longing to participate again in the world, as well as purposeless, often abused young people left to their own.

The stories concentrate on the clash of values between people of culture and the objective, hyper-rational world of modern civilization and its relative, flexible standards. Many of these portraits are not didactic or intellect-based, but are told with simplicity, informality and with as little adornment as possible. The characters are all in some degree of crisis; all know they must act, but some simply cannot or will not break the familiar chains of their despair. The reader is cautioned that much of the language found in the book is vulgar and direct, not with an aim to belittling but to understanding the difficult lives the characters may be leading.

$9.99
City of Gold
NOTE: Paperback copies are available by writing to:                     UncleTadBaker@Gmail.com

How High Should I Jump?: The Satirical Guide to               Pleasing Today's Woman

                                                              By: R. Milton Quibner

​

With over 30 years research and in the field, R. Milton Quibner (Leslie Hale Roberts) is one of the world's leading Heterosexual Relationship Specialists (HE.R.S.). He has scoured the Canon of Western Civilization, seeking insights into how the Masters dealt with one of man's greatest dilemmas: a woman's unfaithfulness. Quibner's work is aimed at men who aren't yet capable of keeping pace with Today's Woman. His book, "How High Should I Jump? The Satirical Guide to Pleasing Today's Woman" takes an absurdly practical approach to the crisis facing Modern Men, offering hard-hitting, time-tested solutions which will make you laugh, and think. No subject is taboo.

How high should I jump?
$15.00
NOTE: This book is my greatest work of 'spoof literature',
with Classical references, in-depth studies of every issue
associated with men/women, and a Q&A session with
Quibner's audience. Funny and offensive!

Shattered by your woman's betrayal? Always arguing over the littlest things? Can't ever seem to please her? Therapy and 12-step programs only making things worse?

 

Brother, help has arrived! How High Should I Jump? The Satirical Guide to Pleasing Today's Woman is for men who are struggling in their relationships with women, from unfaithfulness and loss of trust, to living in a state of constant bickering. How High Should I Jump? The Satirical Guide to Pleasing Today's Woman offers real-world, practical advice for men looking to develop harmony with women. Quibner's straightforward, hard-hitting humorous directions may shock the weak-willed, but if a man is determined to get along with women, this book offers clear, times tested and best of all, funny suggestions for creating conditions both of you can enjoy.

 

R. Milton Quibner is one of the world's leading Heterosexual Relationship Specialists (HE.R.S.) Quibner has scoured the works of Western Antiquity in developing his program and, with tips from modern authors, along with references to imaginary products designed to assist any relationship, R. Milton Quibner stands alone in his field.

Interview with R. Milton Quibner in Ten Spot Online Magazine                                      June 14, 2016

Tell us about your most recent release, Voices of a City of Gold: Stories from Oroville, CA..

 

The lives of the marginalized, those clerks, con artists, convicts, chronically under-employed, cranksters, duck hunters and dope growers, teachers, teenagers and truck drivers, whores and salesmen, bikers and cops, immigrants, retirees, single parents and homeless. Voices from a City of Gold are some of the imagined existences one may sense from the bluffs of Table Mountain, or actually hear, standing on Myers and D Street in Oroville, Northern California.

 

Is there anything you want to make sure potential readers know?

 

I am convinced Oroville, with its conflicting changes and stressors, is no different from/than many places across the Western United States, facing (their) promise, history and decay. In writing this 90,000 word collection, I felt compelled to give voice to marginalized lives one may encounter in places like Oroville, lives one might applaud or pity, but never ignore.

 

How do you react to a bad review of one of your books?

 

Oh, I take both good and bad reviews with a grain of salt. In my view, neither ever really gets it right, and my view is, what matters is that it GOT reviewed, which sends a a signal to the reader that somebody found it valuable enough to invest energy and resources into.

 

What are the most important attributes to remaining sane as a writer?

 

A regular working schedule and sense of unflagging purpose, or unwavering sense of belief in what you do and its value to the world. Regularly writing, maintaining your sense of direction and not waiting around to be 'inspired' will left you from the ebb tide of writer's block. You must also NEVER count your readers or your sales, or compare your efforts with anyone else, especially those so-called 'best-selling authors'. Write because you have to, because you must keep fidelity with your inner vision, and forget thoughts of 'success', which is pure illusion.

 

How do you feel about being interviewed?

 

I love it, it gives me the chance to expand and explain my views and principles. Often the interviewer has little to go on other than a brief few words describing my book, and that's where I can come in and flesh in all that really should be explained and described to my readership. In fact, I generally take control of the interview and do my best to steer things towards the areas I feel must be covered.

 

Have you ever abandoned a creative idea that you believed because others thought you were a fool?

 

Never! I keep my own guidance and really have no interest in the opinions of those who do not share in my workload or understanding. I politely listen, of course, but I am my own navigator of Reality and Creativity.

 

What would you prefer? Stable but boring works or interesting works with lots of workload?

 

Interesting work that demands a great deal from me. I reject boring and safe, though I do work with a routine or, better, a daily disciplined approach that is never boring, however, as I have several projects brewing at any one point and I find it easy to shift emphasis when one 'vein' has been mined for too long.

 

What’s the difference between you and most of the other people?

 

My life experiences have brought me to a unique position that few of my peers can emulate or really appreciate. I have been mentored by one of the 20th Century's greatest thinkers, Demetrius Toteras, who introduced me to the Classics, and I have been faithfully married to a truly great genius, my wife, Pia. I have overcome 17 years of life paralyzed in a wheelchair, and have produced work which is both unique and lasting. I have dedicated myself to my vision even and especially when everyone around me thought I was foolish, everyone except my wife, who has stood by me through everything. I have an unwavering sense of purpose, which only Death can circumvent

 

Is there anyone who inspired you and made you who you are today?

​

A stated, Demetrius Toteras and my wife, Pia, stand out as the 2 strongest influences in my life. Toteras' history is immense, a veteran of the Korean War at age 15, master flamenco guitarist, an expert in the Pre-Classical period and one of the 20th Century's principle experimental theater directors alongside Julian Beck. As for my wife, I have never met anyone with her intuitive grasp of what is right in nearly every instance, nor one as intelligent or funny; I love her sense of humor! Both of these giants have taught me the most important aspect of creativity: generosity.

 

Are you doing anything which makes you and people around you happy?

 

I set an example for the people in and around me that consistently says, 'Do not complain, but do everything you can to both enjoy your life and spread that joy whenever you can'. With what I have gone through physically, the horrors of paralysis along with its attendant diseases, and the struggles I have undergone in my career, ridicule and humiliation, coupled with the fact that I never complain and remain generous and open to change, I believe in who I am and what I do, and I know I 'glow' with a sense of confidence most envy, and few can emulate. I am happy always, despite my ordeals, and this sense of happiness is authentic, and infectious.

Reviews and Comments for How High Should I Jump?

Brilliant, laugh-out-loud hilarious and as in all great satire, in the wildest way, true, all true. Women rejoice, and brave men, too!  Our champion is here, in the unlikely form of a pre-Classical sexpert, R. Milton Quibner. This book stings, smarts, flies and kisses. Quibner's outrageous insights surprise again and again. An impeccable scholar, Quibner peppers the book with astute and illuminating quotes from famous pre-Classical Greek figures. Part of the delight in reading Quibner's words is sorting out for ourselves what rings true and what is here to shock us awake with laughter, and a dose of sheer terror! One wonders, can this be true?

Mitch Weaver, author, F#ck Exactness!

Elko, NV

 

Men, muster all your courage and read these pages or be left out in the pre-Quibner cold. This life-saving book for sissies is not just for sissies! Here you will find all the fundamental steps to becoming the New Man of the 21st Century in a world (finally!) where Women rule. As Quibner commands, "Drop your pride and evolve, dinosaur, evolve!"

Effie Vasilidas, author, Let's remake Men

Secaucus, NJ

 

Women, prepare to embrace this transformational book with manic delight. You will reconnect with your sacred "evdemonia." You'll want all your friends to read about the many ways men can help you "take your place as society’s visionary leaders." This book is changing my life, I’m a new woman! “How High Should I Jump" may well start a revolution. Read these pages NOW to be at the forefront of an unstoppable global shift….​

Susan Wooldridge, author, Poemcrazy

Chico, CA


Beyond the issues easily gleaned from its surface, R. Milton Quibner raises the question of genetic drive, slave to specie characteristics; in other words, the stronger the male, the more he protects his territorial rights. Modern law, however, forbids this natural instinct. Quibner understands this critical tension. As to how to handle the moral issue, Quibner raises another intellectual problem, the struggle between the contemplative and the deliberative. Saint Thomas Aquinas struggled with the same issue, the one that Aristotle based his moral argument on. As you can see, and like all excellent satire, Quibner ultimately raises a profound philosophical question: what the hell do we do with our morals? Saint Augustine asked this very question in his City of God, but since God is dead (for Modern Man), Quibner has stepped in to create a Godless moral philosophy. Brilliant!

James Katsaros, Editor-in-Chief, 9muses.com

Occidental, CA

​

Frighteningly lucid, funny yet damnably thought-provoking; I keep coming back...Quibner has a bold, clear vision of what ails Modern Man and how Today's Woman should be treated, and this vision, is the equivalent of scaling Mt. Everest in shorts and sandals. Quite original.

Fitz Wemberly, Editor, Cantankerous Leviathan Quarterly,

Star City, NV

​

Every subject carefully considered...a must-read for any Man who has ever suffered in love.​

Winston Archer, author, The Male Archetype On Trial

Inverness, CA

​

While it's aimed at Men suffering from infidelity, I swear, this is something every Woman should read. Look, he's right, and I want to be treated like Quibner demands, so Men, get over your laughter - and pride - and just do what he says!

Janet Gleason, author, A Healing Grace

Belleville, NJ

LOVELOCK, NEVADA: An Explanation 

When controversial experimental theater director Uncle Tad Baker breaks down in the Nevada desert, he must finally choose between ignoring his intuition and reviving his once-great theater group, or stepping forward, alone, into the unknown, freeing future.

Lovelock, Nevada
Article on Lovelock, Nevada
NOTE: This book is only available by writing:               UncleTadBaker@Gmail.com
Leslie gol
d mining
Loon Show
pandora.jpg
CZ
Get over yourself
Farting
How High

The Institute of Absurdity Archive is a non-profit philosophical and historical project. All content is presented for the purpose of commentary, criticism, and education under the Fair Use principles of U.S. Code 17 § 107. We prioritize Free Uncensored Thought to ensure the creative life remains free to the public. © 2025 Uncle Tad Baker.

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